I do is always evovling and growing. The basic intention
remains the same, sounding the soul so that its music can
sing in the circle of who you are. New ways of serving
that intention spring forth as I continue to listen and
learn. Below you will see dated entries starting with the
most recent. Pictures old and recent. the
photo above was part of a documentary filmed in late summer
2006 for the Danish version of HBO.
2008 I saw
so many wonderful people this last year. Many of them from
the Netherlands, Belgium and that part of the world because of
an article published by Happinez Magazine. You can view a pdf
file of the article.
I have actually been doing Gathering
Soul Medicine for
some time as a component of the Bare
Bones Private Retreat , and frequently on sacred
land journeys. I won't repeat what
I have already said on the Gathering
Soul Medicine page. I just want to speak
of it because its an addition that will soon be part
of any of the other sessions that I do, as a way
of warming up to them. For people who function excessively
in the "mental", it is very important for
us to have a time of coming together
to move into trust and give some additional aids
they can take home with them, before embarking on
either the Soul
or the Healing The Dreambody session.
few thoughts in summer 2003 before the interview of '98.
lot has happened since the 1998 interview.
Everything that I said in that original interview stands
on its own. It is rather like viewing it from a different
point in space than a different point in linear time. Perhaps
the word is reinvision. I am seeing more. One thing I intend
is to create a forum for those who have done sessions with
me and those seeking help and advice. I have seen so many
people take such beautiful leaps on their path and come away
with their own truth and wisdom. I feel that they would have
a lot to share with those who haven't arrived where they
are. We are all walking the stepping stones of our journey.
And I like to think part of it is reaching back and helping
those who are just a few steps behind us. That's really what
teaching and learning is all about. Part of the reason I
do what I do is I get to keep learning, growing, exploring
continuously redefining myself. If I had it my way I would
slide out of this whole definition thing completely. Why
do you think I am looking at you with a beard. I am letting
the Celt in me have a little fun.
If I were to ask myself
what the most significant addition or change was . . that's
difficult. I don't know that there is a single thing. It is
all part of the web of creation and allowing. The web? The Web
of Life. That seems like a good place to start. I think
it was around Christmas of 2000 that I began doing group soul
journey sessions that I called the web of life.
The Web of Life
We are all connected.
Our minds, our thoughts, our beliefs, our dreams, our visions
of God and The Great Mystery, our joy, our wish to be happy
and not suffer, and our pain, loss, torment, suffering, and
yes our anguish on this journey of the soul. All this we share.
Not only as a pesonal experience. Every word, thought, and
belief resonates through this web forever. I can testify to
countless experiences of this in the shamanic healing sessions
I have done for people. Phrases that they have spoken in their
minds and to others from childhood to adluthood, from past
lives that they don't remember, from the cosmic home that they
journeyed here from will surface in the dreamtime of the healing
session. And these phrases carry an intent and choice of how
they have chosen to relate to the energy of their pain. And
believe me it is energy. It is a part of this symphony called
the soul. A gifted song from the great one. So where is your
song? "Can you hear it? Have you gone deaf my friends,
my beloved sons and daughters? Deaf to the music of your soul?" These
are the questions that start to call us home. Home is where
the soul is singing its gifts.
But these notes, this
music, moves on the wings of emotion, all emotions, from the
leaping fire of anger to the falling tears of grief. E - motion,
energy in movement. And so the painful emotions awakened on
the souls journey, do we turn our backs on them or do we honour
them? This is the choice that echoes in these phrases, that
we release into our personal web and the greater web. Choices
that reflect the abandonment of our pain, yes we abandon the
children of our pain. On the wings of disowned anger we cast
them out where they drift for lifetimes imprisoned in a phrase
or choice we made that did not seem like a choice at the time,but
a necessity of survival. And they come to haunt us like bats
in the night of our dreams.
Only Yesterday I did
a healing sesison for a man who had in the last year achieved
great financial success in his work. But in the course of that
year he realized he lost his life. Mirrored in the loss of
his wife. He was miserable and full agnst for everything. He
had a noxious thought for everyone he passed on the street.
But he was not an unpleasant person. I could see that he was
actually a very gentle man who was riding on the top of a lot
of anxiety. He mentioned having a very abusive father. I never
decide what is going to happen in the session. I don't sit
down and say "okay we're going to work on this issue".
I put everything in trust to those who know a lot more than
I do and what wants to surface from the soul. So I fully expected
that the session was not going to deal with this abusive experience
directly. Well, there it was. He was on his knees as baby crawling
around, gigling. And then at age 4 sitting on his bed chanting
a mantra to himself, "I don't care, I don't care, I don't
care, I don't care! I don't care! I don't care! I don't care
that this house is empty, I don't care that there is no one
here! I don't care that no one loves me! I don't care! I don't
care! I don't care!" As I journeyed deeper and deeper
into this phrase, letting the feelings of rage move through
me so that he could breathe this fire energy back in, the exact
reverse feeling of the phrase emerged. "I do care . .
. I do care . .. and it was very painful. So this descion to
put up a wall of not caring was put in place so he would not
have to feel this great pain of not being love.
We all want to be loved and truly need to be as children. This phrase then
becomes fixed within his own personal web like a coat of armor that brought
him to a state of spiritual suffocation. And all the money in the world will
not satisfy this hungry ghost, this child that was not loved will continue
to hunger. And this chil /man will continue to try and not care. And so there
is a great war within and we become torn apart. When we were done with the
session he told me he had said that was indeed is mantra for 15 years. He spoke
it to his parents and he said it in his mind.
Okay, now we are back
to the Web Of Life. Very few of us make it through experience
without feeling the pain of not being loved. This is a pain
that is common to us, that is familiar. And the choice "I
don't care" is familiar. So imagine that I have six people
on the floor. I have taken them all into a deep deep state.
there is music playing that I have specifically been directed
to play to supoport the journey and I go from one to the other
and dream for them. Sessions that will last from 20 to 30 minutes
for each person. From this deep state everyone is encouraged
to experience all the sessions as their own even though there
will be unique and specific omponents to each one. It may be
that is it someone on the other side of this human web of bodies
that I have arranged who begins sobbing, as if they were the
release valve for the group. Or perhaps several at a time.
Or bodies begin to tremble with energy moving through an ancient
block. so these stories that each person gifts to the group
become everyone's story. Become a sacred healing. Each person
receives six sessions that are woven in a fabric that flow
from one to the other. This is almost impossible to describe.
There is a shared intimacy (into-me-you-see)that most of these
people have never expereinced before. this is a web of life
Which by the way, I
am in the process of renaming to avoid confusion with others
that are using the same name. when we decide to heal the pain
of our souls journey through expereince it becomes a Sacred
Healing Journey. So my overall new name is Aleh-zon Sacred
Healing Journeys. Aleh-zon is the Papago (O'Ohodam) indian
word that is believed to be the origin from which the name
Arizona came. It was the name of some deep springs located
near the Mexican border. It is from surrendering to the deep,
mysteriouss springs of the great spirit that we blessed with
But it is really how
we relate to our pain and loss that become the stories from
which spring the great myths of all cultures that teach us
of this human drama that becomes tragedy.
Earlier this year Stacey
and I hosted several Tribal Soul Journey evenings. Having as
many as 15 to 20 people experience the Web of Life which was
preceded by an hour of movement and group energy work. I hope
to to more of these.
Web of LIfe Sessions
What have I learned
A lot. First, I truly
do believe that not only do teachings come through that are
for me to absorb and gain wisdom from, but that in being willing
to be the whole world of human drama, a resonating vehicle
for all the energies to move through, that I am shaking up
old stagnant areas within the being of my soul as well as those
who I am working with. Tat does not b that my experience is
the same as the receiver of the session. I have to function
at 4 or 5 different levels at the same time. And I am very
consciously bringing in a higher spiritual energy in which
these other energies are held. Much of the teachings I share
with people prior to their sessions have come to me thorough
this multidimensional teaching. How we relate to experience
can be the seeds of core issues. Core issues can then determine
how we expedience. What comes first. What is there in the beginning
of beginnings, perhaps in the original moment of separation
from the source, or the separation of coming from a non physical
body into a physical body?
If underneath it all
is what appears like a void or nothingness. Then our issues
must begin as the infinite self becomes finite, defined, the
beginning of I am here you are there, and "where art thou"?
If we come from the stars and wake up on the earth feeling
loss and separation as new born babes in this world of emotion
my anguish begins there. In the bitter forgetfulness of who
I am. For life times we journey further and further away, struggling
with the demons we have made of our pain. Until something happens
to us and we step onto the path of awakening. So that instead
of journeying away from our pain and who we are, it becomes
a Sacred Journey of Return through layers of anguish and pain
at whose center is the hearth throb of home, the great nothing
and everything. The love that we yearned for so deeply in that
original moment of separation. We step out of time and become
a boundless space that breathes us as we breathe it. We
are The Darkness Listening. This is a phrase that came
out in the first session for my dear friend Stacey. Such a
gift for me for that phrase marries darkness and light.
needs to crack open the
door and let the wind blow in."
by Star Prairie "If
what I'm doing is retrieving lost pieces of one's personal
symphony, a spiritual healing which is commonly called
soul retrieval, then my body has to be like an orchestra.
I have to be able to shape shift from one instrument
to another - - from a mournful flute to a booming drum
to a triumphant trumpet. The images and emotions resonate
in my physical body which are reflective of the person
that I am working with -- the words are secondary to
this resonance. What is being created is an inner musical
landscape -- this is the uniqueness of my method and
the personal training that has allowed me to do this.
I have a physical, emotional and psychological flexibility
and the ability to express it through my instrument."
was recently an article in the Minneapolis and Chicago papers in
which they called you a shaman. What is that exactly?
know that was a nice article, but her use of that word in reference
to me was self-serving. It made the article a little more dramatic
and mystical. I never call myself that. She saw the back of one
of my tour brochures that said, "Shamanic Counseling",
and took the license from that. It's okay. I don't blame her.
it's even understandable. I consider shamanism to be an activity
and not a state of being. I have no interest in defining myself
as anything in particular. I do a lot of things. But I am not
things I do. Nor am I the things I have done. One of my given names
is Windwalker. And that probably sums me up as well as any name.
But since I have come this far with a particular name, Clay Miller,
I might as well stick with it. And it's not such a far stretch
say that I am a miller and a molder of clay.
Journey work is one thing that I do so maybe I'm a soul journeyer,
Huh? Shamanism for me is any healing or balancing activity where
the person steps into the dreamtime or non-ordinary world for the
benefit of an individual or community. This is not to say that some
people don't do it for the benefit of themselves or toward some
did you come to do what you do and develop the teachings that are
part of the Soul Journey experience?
know I don't mean to be difficult. They are not really teachings--just
suggestions for self-liberation. Everything and anything is mean
to be overcome and surpassed. It's all about being present and unlimited
and undefined. So there are no teachings. Just me sharing how I
try to be present in life. Do I instruct during the counseling sessions?
Yes. So allow me to be self-contradicting. Am I doing a good job
of not answering your questions?
you are revealing who you are in a way that is non-ordinary; excuse
me, but I find myself chuckling. It's like you don't want to take
yourself too seriously. But can we talk about what you do? CM:
Sure. I journey into an individual's personal mythic soulscape, become
it and live it out through my body and voice. I transfer the dynamics
of soul speech, emotion and image into the visible tangible world.
I resonate with it. Now I hear myself say that and I think: "Now
what the hell does that mean Miller?"
I answer that I just want to say to those who are reading this
that what I am doing right now in this interview is revealing
one facet of my personality which loves to step out when I being
asked to define. Read some of the other pieces in this site and
you will get some of my other facets. Right now I just can't
help myself. I feel a little flippant, a bit of the rascal in
me, or the trickster if you will. And I'm sure that some of my
friends and the people I work with will say, "Oh, yeah,
he's like that sometimes." One of my friends takes great
pleasure in calling me a brat.
so let's leave him behind for the moment. I'll go through what
I do both from a step by step technical point of view and at
the same time sharing with you what is going on with me..how
shall I say it, internally, is the first word that comes to me
mind. How about all that which I am experiencing but which is
not visible to the onlooker.
this is your subjective experience of the process?
I didn't really want to use that word either. Why don't I just
talk. Which is what I do when someone first comes to see me.
Most people I don't know a thing about them. I like to sit and
just chat, have a cup of tea, relax, allow them to get a feel
for me, establish a level of trust. I sometimes ask them to empty
(I can't stop myself from grinning at the wry humor of his pun).
No, not their tea cup, but themselves, their minds. But this
thing of trust and belief--this is the foundation. Without it
nothing will happen. And, in fact, above and beyond everything
that I do, this may be the most important thing that I offer
them: someone they can trust, perhaps for the first time in their
life. Why can they trust me? The only answer I can give to that
is that I try to walk my talk. Practice presence and becoming
in my own life. And because I've been working with it a lot longer
than most people I see, they sense this on some level, that I
am fully here for them, that whatever they may think is some
horrible part of themselves, to me it's no big deal. Why? Because
I try to look at my own "horrible parts". I put that
in quotes because I would never call them that. We're all wounded
and scarred and that's really what makes us soulful when we own
our pain. When we don't own our pain, we lose our soul bit by
bit. I've been down on my belly in the underworld more than the
average person. That's part of me. I know how the mind makes
us suffer so we don't even want to stick around any more. So
trust. If they don't trust me, then forget it. We're wasting
our time. Yes, I do this for money, but I don't do it for the
money. I don't need to do this and sometimes I don't even want
to. But I do it because I get to connect with people in a truly
deep and intimate way. I always acknowledge that I am healing
myself at the same time that I am healing them.
also mention that the other necessary component is faith in the
work that we are doing. The whole idea that if you own your pain,
you're going to be more radiant and full of life is a strange
concept for a lot of people who have spent most of their life
running away from it.
a cup of tea and a chat, I have them lay down and start to breath.
That's a big deal for a lot of people. Every little piece of
soul that we lose we lose some breathe too. So having the intention
just to breathe is like having the intention to fill yourself
with soul. Then I select a variety of music to support the journey.
I just clear myself and get a little nudge to play this piece
of music or that one, very personal and different for each individual.
I'm talking about selections from five different CD's. So in
one session, you might hear Vivaldi's Four Seasons, Gabriel Roth's
Totem, some Cajun music and a native American chant. Now I don't
have to use the music. I can do the journey process without it.
But it helps support the transitions in the Journey and is indeed
music to the soul facilitating a very deep nonverbal integration.
Sometimes when I am done with the actual work, I will let people
lay in an altered state for some time. I believe a lot goes on
in this unconscious state. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
even before I select the music I am filling up with emotion.
I note it without trying to make any assessment of it. I am already
picking something up on a nonverbal, unarticulated level. I don't
say okay I'll pick this music because this is what I feel. It's
very important to keep my mind and my opinions completely out
of the journey session itself. Otherwise it becomes more of an
interpretive act: my seeing the images and giving my opinion
about them. The language of the soul is dynamic images of e-motion.
They cannot be separated from this soulful world nor from the
specific energies that they are the imaginal expression of. When
I use the world imaginal, it does not mean that they are not
real. This is soul speech. They are musical notes which I allow
to move through me as if I were a musical instrument. And this
musicality of what is reflected to the person I am working with
is the most important aspect for them to let in and own. I invite
them to let the dream interpret them. To let the energy of the
image and the sound resonate as deeply as possible within them.
Become it. That's what I am doing. I am becoming part of their
mythic soulscape. My body fills with this soulscape and resonates
in my voice as I describe what I am feeling-seeing.
you afraid of getting lost or overwhelmed by these emotional
is always a part of me that is detached. Because I do not fear
or choose to deny my own soulscape, there is no resistance. In
fact, my objectivity allows for a freer expression. There is
a partial objectivity that is established through the descriptive
act. But at the same time I become all the elements of this mythic
an interesting duality--objectivity and becoming. What are we
talking about? What kind of images?
the initial feeling-image is a dynamic, or mythic expression
of conflicting forces, or a contractual movement aborted or interrupted,
a soulful force held captive by some other part of our personality.
In the sense that this soulful aspect does not fit in with who
we think we are, or because of its imprisonment does not present
itself to us as something we want to reclaim. In fact it might
be down right terrifying. One of the problems with trying to
put this in words is that it sounds like a journey into hell.
The truth is most people feel quite peaceful when we are done.
A big component of the journey is an experience of freedom and
nonseparateness and infusion of elemental forces that serve to
quicken their resonance and supports the soul retrieval or reinstatement
of soulfulness. Sometimes the journeys are quite cosmic and peaceful
and don't seem to have much in the way of pain or conflict. But
it is usually there in some form or another. It is as if what
is being presented is what that person needs to experience at
that moment. And sometimes what they direly need is some kind
of affirmation of soul.
keep mentioning this contracted place. Are we all contracted?
yeah, we all have buttons that get pushed that make us tighten
up, that threaten our power or safety or value. But you just
let yourself feel it, get underneath it, get to the hurt and
the fear and they won't accumulate mass and drag you down and
make you shrink from your natural radiance. I catch myself all
the time thinking I am being an adult but underneath there's
some adolescent maneuvering going on.
movement of our being is as natural as the expansive one. But
we tend to have great attachment to the expansive cycle and great
aversion to the contractual one because we associate it with
suffering. What it is is pain and we create the suffering with
our own minds. The contractual movement is a natural response
to pain, whether it's physical, psychic or emotional. But as
we go through life, this movement is being continually interrupted
by our fearful minds. These interruptions accumulate a mass and
create increasing inertia. Each one of these movements that is
interrupted is a sacrificial act of who we are, of our own personal
truth. In the face of pain, real or imaginary, which the mind
turns into suffering, we make the decision to not feel and speak
our truth, creating more and more immobility in this naturally
expanding and contracting spiral. We lose our life.
I feel your gutsiness in speaking your truth combined with
of compassion. For me the Soul Journey experience with you was
like a ray of lightning quickening, catalyzing movement. I felt
this even through my initial resistance. My soul "got it",
took in the resonance in a way beyond my mind's words.
and when the spiral moves naturally outward, we let in the world
around us and the world of feeling within us. Soul Journey is
about reclaiming ourselves and re-establishing a rootedness in
our soul so that we may have a radiant connection with the world.
This is presence. It's about creating relationship with the disowned
parts of our soul. It can't be done with the mind, since that
was the instrument of disownment. It has to be done in the vibrant,
gutsy, mythic language of the soul. Somebody needs to crack open
the door and let the wind blow in.
we're back to Windwalker! Or a name a friend came up with for
you is El Reyo que Illumbra la Sombre, the ray of light that
illumines the shadow. But I don't want to try to define you,
so I'll just say thanks for the journey Clay Miller!